‘Relationship goals’ are everywhere.
One quick scroll through your Instagram timeline and you’re sure to see at least a handful of pictures of ‘happy’ couples taking baecations to every tropical destination known to man.
But while you’re sitting on your couch wearing yesterday’s clothes, watching Love Is, and wishing you had a relationship like Nuri and Yasir – you might just be neglecting the most important relationship of all: the one you have with yourself.
Let’s face it, there’s a lot of pressure from society to settle down and find love – but not enough pressure demanding us to find self-love. So, how can you do that? You already know I got you!
It’s time to change your idea of relationship goals. Keep reading to learn some major keys to improving your relationship with yourself.
Make Self Care A Priority
We all know that we should put ourselves first, but how many of us actually do this? Y’all hear them crickets too, huh?
The reality is that most of us get so caught up in our daily routines that we don’t take time to take care of ourselves. Let me tell you this right now, if you keep putting yourself on the back burner, you’re gonna get burned.
Get in the habit of taking the time to do some basic self-care. This could mean anything from getting your hair cut/done, going to the nail salon, taking a nap, reading a book, schedule a doctor’s appointment, or taking a long shower.
Basically, self-care is anything you do that benefits your physical, mental, emotional, and/or spiritual health – so feel free to get creative and do what works for you.
Hold Yourself Accountable
Accountability is key in any relationship, but this is especially true in your relationship with yourself. By holding yourself accountable, you make a commitment to improve on your mistakes, grow, and learn.
If you’re the type of person who sets goals and never follows through, or makes commitments and never delivers, you need to come up with a plan to make sure you’re keeping yourself in check.
Below are a few tricks you can use to hold yourself accountable:
- Write things down
- Acknowledge your milestones
- Create short-term goals
Stay Off Social Media
More 200 million people are said to be addicted to social media.
Spending too much time on social media can result in a false sense of reality (hence seeing two complete strangers and thinking they’re relationship goals) which can in turn lead to you feeling bad about your actual related.
While social media may be a great way to stay in touch and pass the time, every once in a while it’s nice to take a break. Forget about what other people are doing and focus on yourself.
Use the time that you typically spend on social media to meditate or meet up with a friend. You’d be surprised how something as simple as putting your phone down can have a positive impact on your life.
Nobody wants to have people walk all over them, but most of us allow people to do this without even knowing.
Learn how to say no – and don’t feel bad about it. Not making yourself available doesn’t mean you’re being mean or rude.
Remember that everyone isn’t entitled your time, space, and/or energy. Sometimes you have to put your foot down and let people know that you are not the one.
You don’t have to maintain relationships with people who make you feel bad. In fact, you may be blocking your blessing by continuing to entertain situations that don’t bring you peace.
Try New Things
We’re all guilty of getting stuck in our routines.
While a schedule can be a good thing, you know what they say, variety is the spice of life.
Don’t keep making excuses to avoid stepping out of your comfort zone or trying things you’ve always wanted to explore. When you do something for the first time, you get to see a different side of yourself.
These new things don’t have to be anything over the top, they can be something as simple as stepping up to lead a project at work or letting a friend set you up on a blind date.
Give Yourself Permission To Make Mistakes
Self doubt can really hold you back. Sometimes, confidence is the only thing that separates you from something that you really want.
You have to learn to trust yourself to take risks which also means you have to give yourself permission to make mistakes.
Of course, this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t hold yourself accountable (see point number 1) and try to learn from the things you’ve done wrong. What it does mean, is that mistakes are a part of life and you have to learn how to keep moving even when things don’t go according to plan.
Remember Who The F… You Are
Last, but certainly not least, don’t ever let anyone tell you who you are. Don’t let people try you or dismiss you.
As the infamous Jay Z once said, “nobody built like you, you designed yourself”.
Remember that you are a unique and special individual who deserves love, peace, and happiness.
Nobody is better than you!
I know things can get hectic and it can be easy to feel like everyone else has it more together than you do, but life isn’t a competition.
As long as you keep moving in the right direction, you’ll get where you’re trying to go. Enjoy the journey while you can.
Be Your Own Relationship Goals
Relationship goals don’t always have to be about other people.
Plus, if you don’t have a good relationship with yourself, none of your other connections will be able to reach their full potential.
Love yourself and the rest will follow.
Got any more tips on how to improve your relationship with yourself?
Share em in the comments below.