A first date can be stressful, dozens of questions swim around in your head and the Spaghetti Bolognese debacle of ’99 plays fresh in your mind. Yeah. It was bad. But the stress can eased by going in with now in mind and only now in mind.
That means don’t saddle this unsuspecting person with the expectation that they’re the one or that the relationship will blossom or fail.
At date number one I don’t think you can even legally call it a relationship. You’ve had longer relationships with bits of spinach stuck in your teeth than you have with this man/woman.
Rushing to define it, even when not verbally or physically done creates undue pressure on something that may or may not even be.
You’re “heartbroken” when this complete stranger doesn’t fit your mould. They’re creeped out when you call them “bae” 2.5 seconds after meeting. It’s a mess and everyone’s crying.
Sometimes a date is in one parties mind step one towards the rest of our lives together while the other party just wants to know how you liked going to Penn State.
This doesn’t mean don’t have long-term commitment goals you wish for yourself but weeding out the candidates must be based on the person you encounter on the ground in real-time slurping soup and disrespecting the server right in front of you rather than the “relationship” crumbling because one party tried to panel beat it into something it wasn’t way too quickly.
Like Toni Braxton said circa ’96, let it flow.